There is a great post (beginning of a series really) on the Resurgence website titled “Leadership is Lonely (Part 1)“. It asks five diagnostic statements of pastors and their loved ones in an effort to help leaders identify a loneliness and certain sinful patterns related to loneliness. I will mention only two:
1) I feel that God has abandoned me to an impossible task and have begun to question his goodness.
I will confess that over the past four years, and very heavily over the last summer I have indeed felt this way. On one sleepless night I went through such a crisis of faith as to seriously question, not if God exists and if Jesus is the Messiah, but if I wanted to worship and serve Him. My bitterness and anger was extreme. God, by His grace brought me through it and pulled me out.
2) I wish someone would just tell me what to do, give me permission to not do so much, and sort out the complexity of my life.
Being the lead pastor of a church plant that hasn’t gotten off the ground even after four years of hard work is extremely frustrating. I had begun looking for Associate Pastor jobs precisely so that I would no longer be the man in charge. In my role as teacher at a Christian school, I greatly enjoy having a godly supervisor who has the final say.
Being the lead pastor or lead missionary can be so very lonely, tiring and taxing. I’m very interested to continue reading he direction this series of posts on the Resurgence site will take.