Know Your Target When Planning Events

(EDIT/NOTE/PREFACE/ETC.: This post is directed particularly at women and the venue in mind while writing the post was primarily the church setting.  A female friend informed me the original first sentence was condescending.  I’m not sure how to fix that, particularly given that the post is written out of frustration at the emasculation of men in church. Be that as it may, I wasn’t intentionally trying to offend and so I’ve made a minor edit to the sentence which, without specific guidance, is the best I can do.)

When planning events keep in mind that men and women are fundamentally different.

If you are planning an event at which you expect there to be both men and women, include a very masculine man on your planning committee. If no masculine man is willing to assist, that should be a clear signal that this might be an event men are disinclined to enjoy. Do not assume that sentiment will automatically produce enthusiasm.

Allow me to present a specific example.

Before the birth of our latest child the women of the church threw a baby shower for my wife. Someone had the idea of “inviting” the men. The result was that women drug their husbands and boyfriends along to an event the men would much rather have not been at. I sure didn’t. I was there because I love my wife and as a beneficiary I was obligated to be there.

The event went much like most of these do, as I understand from description. Despite men being invited, nothing was done to make the event “male friendly”. It was painful. I did not enjoy myself. The men who weren’t able to wiggle out managed to segregate themselves and holed up in the kitchen like soldiers hunkered down in a foxhole during an artillery bombardment. No enjoyment was had by any person bearing a Y chromosome at that event. We all would have rather smashed our thumbs with a sledge hammer if it would have gotten us out of the event.

If you want to create a “male friendly” event, include a man in the planning. Please stop making us sip tea, eat frilly foods, and look at baby things. In return we won’t expect you to feign interest over the latest tech toy, computer app, video game, car model, motorcycle, 4×4, etc.

I was going to give a couple of ideas of things that might appeal to guys, but then that would defeat the purpose of my advice to include men in your planning session. Some guys are gear heads, some are tech heads, some are sports fanatics, etc. You need to know your target and the only way to reach your target is to include your target in the planning.

4 thoughts on “Know Your Target When Planning Events

  1. When writing a post, know your audience. Your very first sentence completely turned me off of what you were saying because it felt so very condescending. 🙂 –Wendy Lady

  2. From your description, I did not realize this was about the emasculation of the church, but about people trying to make a gender specific event open and failing miserably. There have always been bad baby showers; you just didn’t used to have to go to them.

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