Church Signs

I like it when Churches get creative with their signage.  Then again, I love (absolutely enjoy) a good bad pun (drives my wife bonkers). Here some some interesting ones.

  • “There are some questions that can’t be answered by Google.”
  • “Staying in bed shouting, ‘Oh God!’ does not constitute going to church.”
  • “Read the Bible.  It will scare the Hell out of you.”
  • “Wal-Mart is not the only saving place.”
  • “Free coffee. Everlasting life.  Yes, membership has its privileges.”
  • “Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.”
  • “Prayer – Wireless access to God with no roaming fee.”
  • “Forgive your enemies – it messes with their heads.”
  • “God does not believe in atheists, therefore atheists do not exist.”
  • “Dont’ be so open-minded your brains fall out.”
  • “If you think it’s hot here, imagine Hell.”
  • “Salvation Guarantee – Or your sins cheerfully refunded.”
  • “God’s last name isn’t ‘Damn.'”
  • “Do not criticize your wife’s judgment – see whom she married.”
  • “I hate this church – Satan.”
  • “God help me to be the person my dog thinks I am.”
  • “Stop, drop and roll won’t work in Hell.”
  • “Santa Claus never died for anyone.”
  • “Read the Bible.  It’s user friendly.  Plus we offer tech support every Sunday at 10:30.”
  • “Why pay for GPS.  Jesus gives direction for free.”
  • “Jesus shows no favoritism, but our sign guy does.  Go Cubs!”

This last one just confused me:

  • “Midnight Mass and Toga Party.  BYOBJ (Bring Your Own Baby Jesus)

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