I just had an unsettling experience. I read through 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, you know the famous description of love, and replaced the word love (or its relevant pronoun) with my name. “Jason is patient and kind; Jason does not envy or boast…” As I read, I kept hearing the voice of Valerie, the wife of Miracle Max from The Princess Bride, screaming “Liar!” By the time I was finished my eyes were filled with tears (it became difficult to read after only a few lines). What a fraud I am.
“What is the greatest commandment?” Jesus was asked. “Love the LORD your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. And the second is like it; love your neighbor as yourself.” Earlier in chapter thirteen of 1 Corinthians, Paul declares that even if he had the faith to blow away mountains, or gave away all that he owned, or even sacrificed his own body but did not love, then he was nothing. Worthless. I hear Metalica’s refrain, “And nothing else matters”.
I am nothing.
Thank you, Oh God, for searching me and revealing to me what displeases you. Please accept this broken heart and do with it what you will.